Post Christmas post

Christmas has been a pretty dreadful affair this year. Mum and Dad were both ill, the house was declared an isolation zone, and all festivities were consequently cancelled. Dad was crabby, Mum was upset and I could have banged their silly heads together. It made going home a little redundant but I'm glad that I did it. I got some reading done (Part of Beowulf and the end of The Devil in Amber) and had some time to think about future projects. It also provided something of a contrast with the week before.

That was a bit of a bit of a roller coaster with rekindled affections, quite a bit of drinking and a really good evening with Dunc, Verity and Laura crammed in. The latter ended with a very late and very tuneless sing song around the computer (it is a variation on the Victorian theme).

I walked back to Cowley via Abingdon Road and Donnington Bridge. There was a thick white frost and a swirling fog. I stopped and looked down into the black water. I felt a deep sense of ambiguity as I stared into the rushing current. A fascination with the idea of the drop and a wonder at the silent beauty of the night around me. A desire to be and a desire not to be. I guess we all get that.

I'll be in Sri Lanka for three weeks as of tomorrow so I may try to update this while I'm away.

Gary Nelmes

Humphrey Institute of Music

The aim of the Institute was to bring as many of my friends (without children) together in one grand location as possible; to play music, to drink good wine, to eat good food, to smoke good cigars, to read and to get some fresh air.

All in all I managed a large manor house with:

Sixteen people, two acoustic guitars, two electric guitars, two bass guitars, a drum kit, two clarinets, two flutes, four whistles, a grand piano, two tambourines, a lute and a hurdy-gurdy.

The Humphrey Institute of Music (Dec 8th-14th 2007) has proved to be my most triumphant organisational success so far. The personnel, the venue, the finances and the events worked to almost embarrassing perfection. I kept organisation to a minimum and farmed out responsibility for key tasks to people more capable (or more interested) than me of executing them. The catering was a massive task in itself and a potential drag for anyone who didn’t enjoy it. Leaving the two major events with Beccy and Gareth gave them a core role, freed me to keep an eye on the over all shape of things and ensured a really very good standard of catering.

The musical organisation was also a potentially difficult area. I’m not really a musician so leading from the front was not an option. Duncan was the designated leading ‘muso’ and did a brilliant job; but on the days he was sick we managed to create something interesting mainly because I was not the main focus of attention. I think people felt free to be creative and that was really good to see.

I had hoped that it wouldn’t break down into a band/audience situation and I don’t think it did. Julia did fantastic work with the woodwind people. I really was awe struck that they came into the main lounge and got through Heart of Gold with barely a squeak out of place. I was also frankly incredulous that Jackie managed to get a tune out of the hurdy-gurdy. Hats off!

The music was the binding theme of the event from the start but I was amazed by just how pervasive it was. Aside from the big (and slightly raucous) renditions of Fairytale of New York where everyone joined in there were little knots of music all week. The Julias played beautiful piano and flute in the mornings. Dunc and Andrew did amazing brotherly guitar things before dinner. The black tie Bottle Orchestra squeaked through a brace of tunes between courses and Beccy and the multi talented MDJ did acoustic versions of New Wave Punk classics in the early hours. I should probably apologise for my early morning experimentation on Matt’s drum kit but it was great fun.

Somehow, the atmosphere and the aesthetic of the thing were just perfect. The house felt like home to me after a couple of days and we fell into a routine. The formality of the Black Tie Dinner is always something I love and the girls all looked stunning. Sparkling eyes, lovely outfits and beautiful faces all set off against the background of the chaps looking suave and manly. I love all that stuff.

The weather somehow also managed to be perfect. The rainstorms of the weekend gave the manor the character of a warm glowing refuge at the heart of dark (or at least perpetually crepuscular) nature. Paul seemed to be able to summon a fire from nothing (even a two level one at one point) and I hold my Neolithic manhood cheap by comparison. Somehow (and this is also slightly less than butch) I was slightly reminded of The Rocky Horror Picture Show. ”You’re wet; I think you better come inside…”

Ah… it sets the mind racing doesn’t it? Rocky Horror, Clue, Murder Mystery, Art (enormous Pollocks), Dance, Wine. So little time…

Fairytale of Maesycrugiau

It was Friday evening
In Maesycrugiau
When Nelmes he said to me
“Pack up, it’s time to go.”
Then he sang Redemption Song
One final screech right through;
I turned my face away
And burned a book or two.

But what a week to see!
From sixteen down to three:
The house was reeling
From wine, guitar and flute.
It’s nearly Christmas
But no festivity
Gives half as good a time
As the Humphrey Institute.


They've got drinks big as sinks
They've got booze in the hall,
They’ve got guests glassy-eyed
As the stag on the wall.
When they first take your hand
Through that manor house door
They promise that soon you’ll be begging for more.

We made noise in no hurry
And covered in slurry;
When the band finished playing
We cried out for more.
The chilli was stinging,
All the drunks they were singing,
We started at lunchtime then drank through the night.

The ghosts in the panelled Jesus room
Were singing through the cold,
And the hurdy-gurdy pined
For Heart of Gold.

How they’d jump up and spank
On an amplified plank,
Sipping port on the sly in resplendent black tie.
Don’t crank up the tension
With stray jazz suspension –
On your feet! Raise a glass! Don’t pretend it's the last...

The ghosts in the panelled Jesus room
Were singing through the cold,
And the hurdy-gurdy pined
For Heart of Gold.



And now they’re gone too soon:
From room to empty room
There drifts a haunting tune,
A chord that can’t sustain.
Our revels disappear,
Melted and dissolute,
But what a founding year
For the Humphrey Institute!

The ghosts in the panelled Jesus room
Were singing through the cold,
And the hurdy-gurdy pined
For Heart of Gold.

© Gareth Prior 2007

Vodcast seminar: Online Educa Berlin (quick notes)

Click To Play

Basics
This seminar is presented as part of the Inge de Waard of the Institute of Tropical Medicine Antwerp. Vodcasting is essentially video blogging. It is thought of as part of web 2.0. It is essentially a social media tool and (pedagogically) is designed to be part of a feedback loop. Participation is thought to be very important. The scenario for the seminar is at: http://www.ignatiawebs.blogspot.com/

The software used here is mostly freeware. Indeed we are using blogger as the basis of ths seminar so I don't have to create a new blog (blasted alien keyboard).

I'm not on my PC but I am told that we need the latest java applets and the latest windows player and the latest flash media player.

Video compressing software.
Inge believes that the software must include accessibility for mobile devices because many more mobile devices are sold than computers.

File naming should include no spaces and be in title case.

We are looking to add a widget by going to http://creativecommons.org/ to 'hunt down' a licence. We found a list of licences at http://creativecommons.org/international/uk/ . You can use these licences for your http://www.flickr.com/ pictures too. These licences can be embedded (html) in your blog via the template page.

Inge is having trouble finding the javascript widget on the creative commons site so we "will get some video compression going". Ah, sadly this didn't work either as the Windows Movie Maker doesn't work properly.

We access Windows Movie Maker via Programs: Functions on left: audio/video lines at the bottom.
Import video (avi, Mpeg etc)
Drag movie into bottom line
Add video effects and audio effects (click and drag effects). Adding these is fun but the main reason is to compress the file. To do so just 'publish the movie in a different format'. The best setting is 512kbps. The higher the rate the higher the quality but (for instance) developing countries will need a greater compression rate. 2.28gb file is more than halved at 512kbps. In this case the output is Mpeg (2 we think). We could have output as a flash file or a quicktime file. The Mpeg is standard for WMP but quicktime is slightly more cross-platform compliant.

Compressing files also speeds up the opening of your blog (i.e. is slows it down with a full size file)

WMM is complete with the windows operating system. iMovie is also usable.

http://www.blip.tv/ is Inge's broadcast software of choice.

I didn't use blip.tv because I couldn't generate a thumbnail because I couldn't read the German menus on the Paint software.

h264 coding is important for some reason but I have absolutely no idea why.

A feed reader is a bit of software which looks for .xml files. It uses RSS feeds to drag in posts/data from elsewhere.

To make the RSS icon 'a reality on your blog' we have used feedburner to produce a little application which we can paste in using 'add a page element'. That should allow people to 'stay updated on the latest information'. This is of course vitally important in the fast moving world of Holdsworth renovation - I don't think.

Further things to look up are twitter (microblogging); Delicious bookmarks (http://del.icio.us/).

Some colleagues were of the opinion that this web 2.0 social tools pose a threat to copyright and the integrity of examination. Ingrid recommends going to Stephen Downes' presentation.

She recommends a site called http://www.nosignificant.difference.org/ which shows nsd by simply using new media to present old material. The inference is that new media need new pedagogy.

Holdsworth restoration: stage six

I have the stickers I ordered from Lloyds. I now have to make a decision about how to finish the bike.

I have tried matching the colour by mixing enamel paints. It is possible to get close to the colour but the patina of the old bike is hard to match. I wasn't satisfied with the job so I ended up cutting the paint back off again. I think I might leave a decision until after I have the bike functioning.

OU Tour and Touch Rugby

It is shaping up to being a slightly mental sporting week. My weekday lunchtimes include a five miler, a Five km, a seven miler and a touch rugby game - Thursday lunchtime I have to myself.

The five mile run on Monday was horrible. I was not in the mood at all and I ran a "like so immature" race. I ran the first mile too fast, the next three I went backwards slowly and the final mile I got into some kind of rhythm. Oddly Julia tells me that it was a PB (at least in OU competition) and I now lead the 'most improved' table for the OU Tour.

The touch rugby was a more dignified disaster with our team The Knock Ons being defeated by a 'golden try' in extra time. Here is Mark's write up...

Today saw a hard fought war of attrition between two evenly matched teams for the honour of claiming the 'bronze medal' in the OU touch rugby tournament. The Hookers and the Knock-Ons game was scoreless after 16 minutes of high quality rugby-football in challenging conditions.

The deadlock at the final whistle lead to an unprecedented golden try play-off. Eventually the Hookers penetrated the as yet impregnable Knock-Ons defensive lines to surge over for the decisive score.

Holdsworth restoration: stage five

I've turned into exactly the sort of nerd that I had hoped to avoid being. When I finished dinner last night instead of picking up the guitar, reading a book or listening to some music I started messing about with the Holdsworth again. I know that objectively it is just an old bike but somehow working on it seems more appealing than the giants of 19th century fiction.

Last night I took a scalpel to the brake hoods to remove all the rubbery goop. No doubt I’ll find out why it was there and why I shouldn’t have taken it off but I hope you will agree that it looks a whole lot better ‘sans goop’. I also removed and polished the pedal end caps.

Holdsworth restoration: stage four

Things haven't moved on that far in terms of finishing the bike but I have eleven months to do that. Basically I have polished and refitted the bell, changed the tubes and tyres (I'll keep the old ones) and removed the pedal end caps ready for cleaning. Next I intend to clean up all the lugs with cotton buds and have a go at the rest of the paintwork with lighter fluid. Then I'll be in a position to make a decision about the paintwork.

On the research side I've been learning all sorts of things about the bike (and not a little about human nature). Unconsciously I think I expected to find an unambiguous date of manufacture for the bike. I had already mentally stuck a card on it for L'Eroica saying 1939 or 1947. What I have discovered instead is a history of change and an acceptance of the unknowns that come with it.

The frame and forks have their own story. They were probably manufactured before, during, or slightly after World War II. This can be established by the style of the 'lugs' at the joints between tubes and the basic brass badge on the steering tube. The history of the bike is obscured by the clouds of war and the austerity which followed it. It is not clear whether it was a viable vehicle during those years or just an unused component made up later. It certainly differs in over all specification to anything in the 1939 catalogue although the frame is probably a Cyclone pattern of that era.

If it was a fully made up machine during the war it must have been valued enough some ten years later to have had a major overhaul. As I think I have already mentioned the MAFAC centre pull brakes and the Campagnolo Gran Sport mechs date from the period 1951-1954 and were fairly high spec for their time. For a while I thought the 'story' was a cherished war-time bike updated in 1951 as austerity declined but it seems there is another layer.

I had expected to find that the Williams chain set was of early 40s or 50s vintage too but the marks seem to indicate a second rebuild in 1957 (or certainly using 1957 rings and cranks).

Most of these issues will never be resolved but it certainly makes for a more interesting bike. Maybe I should get a life. Do you think?

Gary Nelmes

Happy Halloween Urchins!

Happy Halloween urchins!
We had a lovely evening anthropomorphising squashes drinking beer and eating seasonally inappropriate food at Sue's place last night. Actually the nosh was lovely. Things with beans, things with nuts and things with fruit. It wasn't very goulish (not a single bloody steak to be had) but it was most enjoyable.


Matthew at least was in the mood and brought some gothic sounds of yesteryear. It was a trip down memory lane with Killing Joke, The Cult, The Mission and some Fall thrown in for good measure. He spoiled it somewhat with Godley and Cream (bleugh) but you can't have everything.

Amazing the character you can get out of a pumpkin.

Gary Nelmes

Tough rugby

I played my first competitive game of touch rugby at lunchtime. Touch rugby is what Julia would refer to as a 'strategic ball game' and seems to be a combination between tag and rugby league. There is no kicking, no actual tackling and a turn-over every six ‘tackles’. Both women and men play in the same games and seem to function pretty much equally.

When you are defending, the knack seems to be getting back on-side quickly and closing the opposition down as soon as they play the ball. In offence the game seems to be more territorial than full-contact rugby (because you don’t have the opportunity to break the line).

As a team we moved the ball well; our discipline was good and we are all quite fast. Our problems were isolated to not putting quite enough pressure on the ball carriers and not moving the ball right quite often enough.

We won 6:1 with four different try scorers. I scored two (one in each half) and played reasonably well. I really enjoyed it. Here is Mark's write-up...

"The Knock-Ons swept to a fine 6-1 victory against the Tocsix from Chemistry yesterday. Gary and Alvaro recorded braces for the LTS side, while Guy and James scored a try each. James scored the sixth touchdown securing the Knock-Ons a deserved bonus-point. Well done everyone."

Gary Nelmes

Reims Marathon Oct 21st 2007

It was with failure in mind that I ate my deluxe dosa in the Indian restaurant up the road from Euston station. My entry in Reims Marathon was the direct result of my failure to complete Paris Marathon back in April due to a foot/ankle injury. That entry in turn was a result of my failure to secure a place in London Marathon.

By the time I had travelled as far as Waterloo I was beginning to regret playing touch rugby on Thursday lunchtime. It is amazing how sensitive to little twinges and sniffs I can get before an event. I felt another failure coming on and the public sector strike in France meant that it didn’t even have to be an athletic failure.

The Eurostar delivered us to a Gare du Nord enveloped in transport chaos so we took the opportunity to walk south towards the Hotel Odeon on the South Bank. France is so very French and it is odd how that always strikes me. There is always accordion music, there is usually a strike, things are unnecessarily closed, the drains do smell and the women are unbelievably beautiful.

What I couldn’t believe is that we all managed to find each other. Duncan ran into Richard by accident, I met Gareth on the Pont Neuf and everyone else sniffed us out in a restaurant in the Odeon area. Only Chris was left stranded on the north bank with a bag of 1664 and MacDonalds.

The transport strike more or less finished on Friday night and we were able to get a TGV to Reims without too much difficulty. I say “without too much difficulty” but we’d probably have got nowhere if it hadn’t been for Sarah and Suzanne’s language skills.

The city of Reims (say rinse in an OTT French accent) feel not unlike Cambridge. It is flat, stone built, old and rich. What is more the air is unbelievably clean and crisp. Sarah checked us into the Hotel Cecyl with chatty efficiency and we were generally well pleased with it.

We had the slowest possible lunch on the main street and then headed off to register and collect numbers. That all seemed to go fairly smoothly and we were back in time for takeaway pasta (why can’t we have that in the UK) and a night in front of the box watching England edged out in the Rugby World Cup by the Springboks.

I was up at the crack of dawn pacing about on Sunday. It seemed to be ages before we all toddled off to our various starts. The Marathon one was near the magnificent gothic cathedral.

The first thing I noticed was the lack of women. The vast majority of participants were men between 25 and 45. The second thing to strike me was the lack of gonks, wombles, fairies and deep sea divers. The French obviously take their marathon running very seriously.

I forget everything I run past but here is what I do remember of the race itself. The start was polite, fast and well organised. We were soon running 5min kms (8min miles) and settling into a good rhythm. Running with Julia was brilliant (sort of like being a celebrity minder) with everyone shouting “allez les filles”. The snacks were awesome with dried fruit, banana, and all sorts of attractive nibbles to go with the water. We also had jelly babies to supplement the local produce.

We passed a real flower mill (which is the only legitimate use of Moulin I’ve ever seen) lots of pretty canals, an industrial area and some quiet ‘burbs. The people were very friendly and those who noticed were pleased that foreigners had come to their town to run.

At various points the 10k, the semi-marathon and our race came together. We saw Duncan twice and got high-fived by Richard. There seemed to be many more ladeez running in the other races. The locals had laid on lots of entertainment and we were treated to a string quartet, drums, a flute ensemble and a mental woman yelling through a tube.

Julia had a bit of a wobble between 20km and 30km but we ‘smashed’ (pardon the hyperbole) our 20mile records and pressed on. At 38km I remember feeling very stiff in the feet department and on a down hill stretch thereafter Julia started to pull away a bit. She wanted to stay with me but I think that would have made things harder so with a cheery “pin your ears back curly” I sent her off into the distance. By the end I was reeling her in a bit I would never have caught her.

Julia finished in 3:37:40 and I came in 43seconds later at 3:38:32

Gary Nelmes

Semi Marathon times were

Suzanne Moores 02:10:10
Richard Jones 02:03:39
Duncan Humphrey 01:41:16
Nick (it goes on the shoe not in the pocket) Harris - 01:53:08
Christian Major 01:33:04
Sarah Bird - 02:03:39

Holdsworth restoration

The deep-clean stage is now complete. Everything has been regreased, cleaned polished and scrubbed.

Reims marathon training diary: part three

Things are looking fairly positive for Reims now. The foot injury has calmed down and the horrible cold, which began last Thursday evening, is also passing. I think the timing for the cold was about right as I was already tapering. Although I won't be as well trained as I would like to have been I will at least be well rested.

Tomorrow (Wednesday) I will run four easy miles before lunch and then it will be nothing but rest and carbo-loading until Saturday (the day before the race) when I intend to get a light jog in.

I must remember to stock up on my normal energy drink before I leave for France.

Gary Nelmes

Holdsworth restoration: stage three

The polishing has continued and I now have a presentable back wheel and back brake to add to the rest of the shiny bits.

The news on spares is a bit more mixed. I’ve have obtained a very useful list of reproduction decals (from Nick Tithecote at Lloyds) while the modern brake blocks I purchased to replace the MAFAC ones have proved unsuitable due to their depth. I have ordered some slightly ‘hybrid’ Panaracer Pasela TG tyres from Wiggle in the hope that they will cope with the Italian ‘white roads’ better than the Schwalbes.
Roger Armstrong, Tony Colegrave and Steve at Brooks have been very helpful in edging towards a definitive date for the frame. We seem to have narrowed it down to a period between 1939 and 1945 and hope to get a little closer as time goes by.

As regards the paintwork I have decided to go with Roger’s advice in the first instance (i.e. to try to conserve the existing paint) and, should it prove impossible, to commission Mercian to do the necessary refinishing.

Glyn Nelmes (my esteemed father) is looking into the possibility of having the badly corroded cranks and toe clips cleaned and rechromed for me. The leather straps for the latter having cleaned up nicely.

Reims Marathon training diary: part two

Week 3 was finished off with a 10 miler and a 16 miler. The latter was down the canal path from Brighouse to Sowerby Bridge and back and was very enjoyable. the only slightly disturbing thing was the lack of birds. Maybe all the wildfowl has migrated.

Week 4 signals the start of 'tapering' (although I hardly feel I can justify it). Again I took both Monday and Tuesday off but this Wednesday was a pretty fast 10 miler. Julia actually found it quite hard to keep up after her tough half at the weekend but still managed to out sprint me to road sign. Thursday was an easy 'watchless' 5 miler and the weekend saw me doing two race-pace solo efforts of 4 miles and 11 miles.

Just two weeks to go and I have a slightly painful foot. Grrrrr.

Holdsworth restoration: stage two

At this stage I'm focusing my efforts on cleaning, polishing and researching. I bought a polishing kit from Moleroda Finishing Systems (via eBay) to bring some shine back to the aluminium parts. Polishing is strangely addictive and rather than just trying it out on a brake lever as I had intended I've polished the levers, bars, front brake, front wheel and seat post. The materials are easy to use and very effective and the bike is gradually being transformed from an old wreck into a presentable 'classic' (images to follow).

Obtaining spares will be a problem at some juncture but I haven't come across a show-stopping problem yet. Once I have cleaned and trued the wheels I'll need to replace the split and worn tires. These are obtainable although the choice seems to be limited to Schwalbe 27x1 1/4. The brake blocks are also worn and (assuming 1950 MAFAC blocks will be impossible to get) I'm looking for a modern alternative.

Creating a specification for the respray is proving difficult. There is no evidence of the frame ever having been anything but green and no decals remain (beyond the bronze badge). I think I'll stick with green but I need to make a decision on a possible second colour and the addition of Holdsworth and Reynolds 531 logo styles. Many bikes have a contrast panel on the seat tube with a second 'prancing horse' badge but I see no evidence of this.

I still have no firm date for the bike's manufacture. the frame number is the earliest I can find mentioned on the internet (it is certainly before 1948) while the Campagnolo equipment is a little later (between 1951 and 1954).

Priorities between now and Christmas are developing an authentic colour scheme, tracking down the decals, contracting a finisher for the frame and stripping the bike for preparation.

Holdsworth restoration: stage one

I purchased a shabby but interesting looking bike from an ebayer in Lancashire last week with the intention of restoring it slowly to an operable and attractive state for L'Eroica classic sportif 2008. My first task is to tie down exactly what it is and what it should look like.

It is certainly a Holdsworth and I am pretty sure it is a fairly early one but the exact year and model alludes me. Here is what I know...

• The frame number is 6497
• It has a bronze 'prancing horse' badge on the head tube - just bronze with no enamelling
• There are no 'spear'or pierced lugs but it does have moderately 'fancy' lugs on most of the joints (including those around the bottom bracket). These are mostly in the form of two lobes and central point.
• The frame is painted a dark green with no sign of transfers
• There is a grease nipple for the bottom bracket
• It has a very old (original I suspect) Brooks Champion B17 Narrow saddle. This is stamped
  E0
  IM
  0N
• The stem is a forged 'GB' (standing for Gerry Burgess not Great Britain)
• The bell featured in the pictures is a "Ricspur" (patent number 607049). This was probably made at the Ricspur works in Walsall.
• The pedals are Brampton B8s (produced by Brampton Fittings Ltd., Downing Street, Handsworth, Birmingham) of a currently unknown vintage
• The chainset looks like a Williams from 1957 (thanks to Clive Holmes-Dowkes for the tip). It bears the mark
  EW
  †
  AX

I suspect this is a red herring (as these items might be later) but it has a Campagnolo Gran Sport rear mech (with a 4 speed cassette), a campag front mech, Normandy hubs and MAFAC centre-pull brakes. Thelevers are stamped MAFAC and the straps are marked Breveté SGDG (Sans garantie du Gouvernement)

I've added some pre-cleaning pictures below.

Gary Nelmes

Holdsworth restoration

Reims Marathon training diary: part one

After devoting quite a lot of my time to getting 'cycling-fit' for our abortive End to End cycle ride I've had to attempt a quick change of mode. I've downloaded the last six weeks of a marathon training programme and tried to stick with it. Obviously this means joining at the peak of distance training so I am finding somewhat mentally and physically arduous.

My week 1 was week 13 of the full programme and involved 2x five miles 2x ten miles and a twenty miler. I managed to complete them all but was woefully slow.

My week 2 featured a five miler, 2x six miles and a twelve. I felt fatigued but the speed was certainly coming back.

Week 3 is another fifty mile week and has so far featured 2 fives and a ten. The ten was an unofficial PB of 1hr 15min. I can't say I'm relishing doing thirty miles at the weekend though.

The road to recovery

I finally have a reliable diagnosis. Matt (a kiwi physio working at the Blackberry clinic in MK) identified my problem as a damaged Tibialis Posterior Tendon. This is being treated by a change of shoes (I'm back with Asics now) and a series of exercises designed to sterengthen the tendon. I am also going to go back for a couple of sessions of physio to break up the scar tissue.

I am now back to running a couple of times per week and I'm spending lots of time on the bike. Everything is looking good for a full recovery and I'm aiming for the Reims marathon in October.

Gary Nelmes

Paris Marathon Training Diary No10: the final analysis

We travelled out to France a week ahead of the marathon to get a bit of a break from work and to have a nice little jaunt. The Eurostar journey from Waterloo was effortless and we even escaped Paris by car without to much trouble. We headed south in to the Loire valley and took a suite in a lovely hotel between Orleans and Tours.

We spent a lovely few days hopping from chateau to chateau and appreciating French art, wine and scenery. It was fantastic and we were certainly refuelled by a few days of inaction and late rising.

I managed my first tentative run on the 11th of April and nothing seemed too out of order. The ankle (legs generally actually) felt a bit weak at race pace but I had no stabbing pain in the tibia.

Back in Paris we had to get used to slightly smaller accommodation (we had to leave the bathroom to change our minds) but the city was (as always) fabulous.

We overdosed on art (at the d'orsay and the Louvre) and food and went to the most amazing antiques market.

I knew that I may still not make the start (I'd had a few twinges after my little run) but I registered anyway and bought some ludicrous support socks in an attempt to hold my legs together and crammed down as much pasta as possible on race day -1.

The day of the race dawned clear and bright and it was obviously going to be unseasonably warm. The start on the Champs-Élysées was rammed when I got there and I tried to focus on my aim of 5min kilometres. When we went off I was feeling fine apart from a background desire to find a loo.

All went fine to start with. My splits for the first 13k were 4:34 5:05 4:58 4:47 4:52 6:16 5:02 5:24 5:09 5:04 7:51 5:06 5:12. But after about 15k I started to feel uncomfortable. It was too hot and I had started off too fast. The pounding was starting to take its toll on my ankle and I felt dehydrated. The water stations were quite badly organised and sited (some being on corners) and I found they disrupted the flow of the race. By half way I felt like I'd like t0 drop out and my splits had falled to 6min kms. Sadly half way was in the middle of nowhere so I had to press on.

The pain in my ankle was accompanied by a numbness in my right foot and I had to stop a couple of times to loosen my laces and remove my 'boosters'. At 30km I walked off the course and went for an ice cream under the Eiffel Tower. Emily met me and was very lovely about the whole thing but I was very disappointed.

Gary Nelmes

Marathon training diary no9: P-8

Things are looking up a little on the ankle front. I've spent some time running in the pool again and I've also risked a few steps on grass. All seems OK even without pain relief. I'm still giving myself a less than 50% chance of starting the race but I'm happy not to have ruled it out altogether.

I've bought myself lots of 'energy' products and a hot/cold gel compress today. Tomorrow we head to France. So all in all Friday was 'Good' and on Monday we'll be Easter.

Gary Nelmes

Marathon training diary no8: injury update

Today is April 5th and I have just 10 days to go before Paris Marathon. I haven't run for almost a week because of the pain in my ankle. The osteopath was inconclusive in her diagnosis. She is pretty sure that I don't have any tendon damage (which is good) but she fears that I may have a stress fracture at the very bottom of my tibia.

She mentioned something about 12 weeks of inaction and rehab and made lemon faces at me when I mentioned the marathon. However, she also said "I'm willing to be proved wrong". This being the case I will be travelling to France and registering as arranged. If I feel OK on the day I'll do it. If not I'll do something else.

In the mean time I am resting, icing, compressing and elevating for England. I also have a stash of 400mg Ibuprofen to get me through.

Frankly I have blown any chance of a good time but (if I can make the start line) a PB is still on the cards.

Gary Nelmes

Everyone’s a Fucking Poet

Everyone’s a fucking poet
An amateur psychologist
Or a professional bloody guru

They’re all into yoga
Or ayurvedic massage
Or goddamn fucking voodoo

All my friends are shrinks
Or go to shrinks
Or think they should

Am I the only one who is
Traditionally, boringly
Prosaically misunderstood?

Temporary Traffic Lights on Banbury Road

The waves are parted,
Not by a prophet, but a simple switch.
The brutish tide shrinks back,
To tremulous walls of sound, and eyes.

A course abandoned.
Not to the writhing of fish but to the spring,
Which flies unnaturally sweet,
And larks in dusty spirals on the negated road.

Claimed, not reclaimed, for a blackbird’s song.
Annexed by morning
From the silent blackened province of the night
A Spring moment, just long enough to perceive

Then the tiny massless motion breaks the dam,
And juddering, the flow resumes.
Conscious of its presence
It pulses automatic and poisonously slow.

- A lullaby for the Parktown babies

March 2001

Marathon training diary no7: injury

I've been slightly (although inadvertently) smug about my lack of injuries during training. I think I'd put it down to proper planning and equipment. Well now I'm laughing on the other side of my face. I seem to have some kind of problem with my left ankle.

The joint isn't swollen, clicking or grinding. Instead I have a general dull pain around the bottom of my leg (where it joins the foot). I imagine that I have just misjudged a curb or twisted it a little on a rough surface.

However, I only have four weeks to go before the marathon so I am I intend to employ four palliative measures... ARSE!

1. Anti-inflammatories (I've been popping Nurofen)


2. Rest (I'm off running for at least two days and reading E.M Forster instead)


3. Sub zero temperatures (I've been sat here with frozen peas on my leg all evening)


4. Elevation (the frozen peas were on a cushion)

You see, you can lead an elevated intellectual life with frozen peas on your lower limbs - go on GIVE PEAS A CHANCE!

Pullman dining, walking and tweed

My idea was to create a little space for old (and possibly fictional) England in the hustle bustle of modern life; to take people to a romantic setting and let them think romantic thoughts. The weekend took some serious organising (for 26 people) but definitely repaid the effort.

Doing a little active dog-sitting at the end of 2006 I discovered that The North Yorkshire Moors Railway did Pullman dining services along their line from Grosmont to Whitby. My initial thought was a sort of late night Orient/Dracula Express but the time of year and the service pattern made this difficult. Instead I opted for an old-world tweed and frocks affair with a kind of Hound of the Baskervilles hotel theme.

Groups of us from Leeds, Manchester, Leamington Spa, Oxford, Milton Keynes and London converged on the small village of Goathland on Saturday Feb 24th 2007. I'm not sure they knew what had hit them. Everyone had made such a splendid effort either by simply dressing smartly or by going grossly over the top with tweed, plaid and wool in all its forms.

We took the train regular steam service from Goathland station to Grosmont, swapped platforms, and joined the Pullman service. I had specially reserved Car 79. This ornate, Pullman dining car was built in 1928 for the Queen of Scots service and features lovely brass fittings, four seat dining tables and wooden paneling with flower motifs - it is magnificent.

I had been expecting some slightly 'school dinners' food and service but both the staff and the food were fantastic. There aren't many people who can serve soup on a moving steam train these days. The beef was moist and tender, the vegetables beautifully fresh and the wine selection was good.

The scenery outside is lovely and well worth the trip even without the food. We arrived at Pickering after our starter and main course and stepped onto the platform while the engine was uncoupled and turned around.

We took advantage of the break to smoke our pipes and cigars and generally to ponce about in tweed.

Coffees, desserts and further intoxicating beverages were served on the return journey to Grosmont.

Marathon training diary no6: long runs

Today I completed the last of four long Sunday runs. Ed, Julia and I went to Hemel Hempstead to take part in one of the Gade Valley Harriers' London Marathon training runs.

Ed picked me up a little late after forgetting her own warning about the clocks going forward and we tumbled out of the car with little time to spare. Fortunately the starters were fairly relaxed about the start time and (having picked Julia up) we all set off with about 300 others on the 20.1 mile course.

We began by running along the canal bank and I found that my rhythm eluded me a little. This was not helped by the long pull out of the valley but with the first hill behind us Julia and I got into our stride. The course was beautiful and deer, larks and kites were spotted on or above the chalky downland. I hoped to recall some of Meredith's The Lark Ascending but failed miserably.

The country reminded me very much of Kent in the pale sunshine and I could easily imagine Norman Barons hunting boar or stag over it.

The marshaling was excellent and the water (and jelly baby) stops were well placed. With the exception of one long hill we found little difficulty in keeping to our 8min 45sec pace target. Indeed we were a good couple of minutes ahead of schedule when we finally finished (again by canal). We had been aiming for 2hours 55mins and finished in 2hours 52mins 5secs

Ed was a good way behind us but she was pleased to have got round. I'm really impressed that having only recently thought ten miles "impossible" she has already done twenty.

Gary Nelmes

Dust : 2nd draft from notes 25/07/05

There are lines where
There were none;
When you were in the North
And young.

Before we stood upon
This weald;
Before the falling
Dust revealed

That the softening of
The summer air
Does by flying
Lay a layer.

Of death upon the
Living things
From whose life
Its flying springs

Yet though it is life
That lays on death
We will not stay one
Beat or breath

And hold our cries
or laughter down
To quieten the
Covering ground.

For if we should how
Would we know
When dust had
taken us below?

For though there are lines
Where there were none
Our lives above
Have scarce begun.

2007 Adidas Silverstone Half Marathon

The weather forecast looked way off the mark when I awoke this morning. It was a little blustery I grant you but nothing to be alarmed about. The 45minute drive between Bletchley and Silverstone was similarly uneventful. The mighty Renault 5 rocked around a little on the A5 but it didn't seem like the end of the world.

The organisation of the race was excellent. It echoed London Marathon's baggage system (with competitors putting their spare clothes in bags to be collected later) and there was no shortage of space and facilities for spectators.

By the time I got to the start it was getting a bit cold and the, previously pristeen blue, sky was dotted with tall clouds of fluffy grey.

I was looking to run 7 minute 30 second miles (a total over 13.1 miles of 1hr, 38 mins and 15 secs). The first 8 miles were dispatched bang on schedule (in 1 hour) but between 8 and 9 miles I had a bit of a wobble. The weather was going through its full repertoir. To add to the blue sky, we had very high winds, rain, snow and hail.

With about three miles to go I could barely open my eyes as we ran into the teeth of the wind and hail. All the mile markers had blown over and it was hard to stick to any sort of even pace.

In the last mile I knew that I would have to kick quite hard to come in under 1:38 and I just didn't have the strength in my legs to bring myself back on schedule. I crossed the line in an official time of 1hr 38mins 29seconds. It was an annoying 14 seconds outside my 'best scenario' time but 3mins 40 seconds better than my personal best.

My friend Edwina Jones also did a PB of 2hrs 7mins 47secs. Well done Edwina!

I'm starting to think that 8 minute miles might just be possible for a marathon.

Preparing for the Silverstone Half

I'm feeling a little stiff and sore ahead of the Silverstone Half. My right calf will need to be well stretched and warmed up to avoid injuries. The weather forecast is also pretty awful for tomorrow (end-of-the-world stuff).

If I do get to the start line tomorrow I'll be looking to push my PB a little. I imagine that 7min 30sec miles are within my capabilities but anything better than 1hr 42:09 will do me just fine. It would be good to know that I can run without Julia as a pace-buddy.

If I wake up to snow or horizontal rain i'll be staying home .....brrrrrr.

I've been wondering about going into sports massage. Being based part time in Oxford I thought that I might train with Pulse Training.

Marathon training diary no5: training tips

I've done marathons before, one in 1999 and one in 2000. I put lots of effort in before the races but there wasn't much thought behind my preperation; and there was certainly no science. Seven years later I like to think that I am also seven years smarter.

My approach to marathon running in the early days was to run slightly further every week until I was within spitting distance of 26.2 miles. I think I ran about 22miles a couple of weeks before the event then gradually eased off, quit the booze, and went all monastic.

This approach does build stamina and it certainly has the effect of prepairing you mentally to get round the course. The problem lies in the physical, mental and emotional fatigue which piles up over the months of training. It becomes harder and harder to get out of the chair, injuries seem to be a constant problem and lifting the pace seems very difficult.

Here are my tips for more enjoyable training

Join a running club
Most urban areas have a nice approachable road running club. If you can run 9min 30sec miles you can almost certainly find a good enjoyable group to run with.

Find yourself a training partner (or partners)
It could be a friend or a colleague at work or a family member. It doesn't have to be an exclusive relationship but a regular running buddy will make your runs a pleasure. Try and help your partner rather than push them (I think this probably applies particularly to men). Even if they seem a bit too slow or a bit too fast on any given mile you'll inevitably run faster together.

Mix it up a bit
Simply running at a flat pace for a long time can prepare you to 'endure' in a race but it is no fun. Choose different routes. Do some run/walk or slow/fast intervals. Try hill training; jogging down a hill at a comfortable pace then racing up it for 90 seconds as fast as possible.

Have a chat
Train at a pace where you can maintain a (slightly breathless) conversation. Save the red faced gasping for your interval sessions.

Use a schedule
Runnersworld and loads of other sites have useful schedules with lots of variety. It is fun to track your progress against where you want to be.

Remember to stretch
The jury is out on pre-exercise stretching. I do a little gentle stretching before I run but it is of disputed value. Stretching afterwards (quads, achilles, back and hamstrings) is really helping me. Don't bounce on your tendon; just stretch and hold for 30 seconds or so in each position.

Cross train
A little cycling or swimming can balance out your running training and improve your endurance. Remember though; swimming and cycling use very different muscles and you can't prepare for a marathon unless you do the miles.

Use a treadmill
Everyone knows that treadmills are boring but they can be an excellent way of doing interval training. On the road you can lie to yourself about speed and distance. There is no hiding from the numbers on a treadmill.

Try racing
Entering a 10km race or a half marathon is a great experience in itself; it gives you an idea of how athletics events work and it will give you a little push to try harder.

Don't worry about your times: you are already a demigod
There are those of us who try to run marathons and then there are those who don't. However slow you are, if you try, you have more in common with the great champions than you do with the couch potatoes.

Marathon training diary no4: MK Half (11:03:07)

Julia, Ed and I took the opportunity to do MK Half as it starts and finishes on The Open University campus and uses some routes familiar to us on our regular runs at the OU and with Marshall Milton Keynes AC.

It was a beautiful sunny spring day with a brisk breeze and I was looking to run flat 8 minutes miles (3hr 30min marathon pace). We arrived at the back of a large start confident that our timing chips would give us a true time despite the delay crossing the start.

Julia and I ran a lovely controlled race. When we started to get too far ahead of our target time we slowed things down. The course was beautiful and really showed MK's parks off to their best.

I came in with Julia in a creditable 1hr 42 09 and Ed smashed her 2hr 15 target. The only downer on the day was that the timing chips didn't record the start so we had times from 'the gun'. This makes us look 3 minutes slower than we were - very annoying.

Still, 3hr 30pace is what we were aiming for and is exactly what we did. Julia has now taken a minute per mile per year off her MK time for three years running - very impressive.

Sue and Emma also improved our time by at least 30secs with some tactical shrieking.

Marathon training diary no3: one month to go

Paris marathon is a little over a month away. My target is to complete the course in between 3hrs 30 and 3hrs 45. This weekend's MK half marathon will be the first test of that goal. Julia Brennan and I are hoping to run flat 8 minute miles for the full 13.1 miles and to come in around 1hr 44mins.

So far training has been going relatively well. I've been following a Runners World schedule which includes interval training for speed, distance training for endurance and race-pace training for errrm, well pace I suppose.

Julia has been a tremendous help because (coincidentally) we seem to run at more or less the same speed, pushing each other a little bit further every time. Emma, Sue and Ed have also been brilliant training partners for lunchtime runs.

As I get closer to the race date the distances required become greater and more and more of my time is being absorbed by training. Fortunately, the spring is also arriving and running in the park land around The Open University is becoming an increasing pleasure.

Yesterday's OU relay was quite heartening. I managed 1.1miles in 6mins 41secs without too much difficulty. There was certainly more in the tank. Last weekend I also ran an easy 14 miles and a frantic 5 miles (cross country) so I am not too worried by the distance.

Finding time to eat properly is sometimes a problem (especially at lunchtime) but the speed, the endurance and the love of running are all coming back.

Marathon training diary no2: Fighting the turkey

Today is my first day back at work after the Christmas/New Year break. I was under no illusion that the vacation would be an opportunity for serious training but I was determined to do a little to fight off the effects of nuts and beer. I managed to do three runs of about three miles each (with some 'efforts') and another run of about five miles. I have also drunk quite sparingly with New Year's Eve being the only real blow-out.

This week I am MK based so I hope to do at least two runs of five to seven miles. From next week I would like to alternate between shorter runs building pace and longer ones building stamina. I also need to come up with some dietary strategy for the coming months.